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LARRY:
Hey Hey Hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the local clowns
Whey never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughts try
A little friendly advice
And be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you'll love it
Be a CREW SLUT
It's a way of life
Be a CREW SLUT
See the world
Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus
CREW SLUT
Add water, makes its own sauce
CREW SLUT
So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never get to move around
You never go no where
I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what it's like
To go from place to place
So, darlin' take a little ride
On the mixer's face
Be a CREW SLUT
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a CREW SLUT
Hey, you'll love it!
Be a CREW SLUT
It's a way of life
I ain't gonna squash it
And you don't need to wash it!
CREW SLUT
Hey, I'll buy you a pizza
CREW SLUT
Of course I'll introduce you to Warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you
At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time to time,
borrow some of the big rock group's equipment and have a blues jam session,
indicating to the kneeling maidens that they are endowed with a great deal
of raw talent, as well as massive meat. Obviously impressed with LARRY's
ability to suck so hard on his harmonica that screeching little noises come
out of it, MARY kneels again and reaches upward in gestures of
supplication, listening intently as LARRY continues to sing . . .
LARRY:
Well, you been to Alabama, girl
'N Georgia, too
'N all the boys in the crew
Is bein' good to you
I know you're sayin' to yourself
"This is the way to go"
'Cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo'
'Cause you're the CREW SLUT
MARY:
I'm into leather . . .
LARRY:
That's good! A lot of the boys in the crew
Love leather . . .
MARY:
And rubber . . .
LARRY:
Yeh, they like rubber too . . . shrink tubing
With a hair dryer . . .
ROAD CREW CHORUS:
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
MARY:
Ha ha ha . . .
LARRY:
You like that, huh?
I told you you'd love it . . .
It's a way of life!
ROAD CREW CHORUS:
The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
MARY:
A present for me?
LARRY:
We got a present for you!
MARY:
Whaddya got?
Whaddya gonna give me?
LARRY:
It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You'll love it . . .
MARY:
With Leather?
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
Eh, err, eh eh . . . This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER again . . . And
so MARY was enticed away from JOE By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his
pocket Lured into alife of SLEAZERY With the entire road crew of some
Famous Rock Group (I don't know whether it was Toad-O . . . I don't know
. . . I'll check it out)
Again we see
MUSIC
Causing
BIG TROUBLE!
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