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 Jorma: Hello?
 Kiv: Hi, do you want to go to a party with me?
 Jorma: No. The game's on.
 Kiv: Oh, I almost forgot. I'll be right there.
 
 We like sportz and we don't care who knows
 From shooting hoops, to the Super Bowl
 We like sportz and we don't care who knows
 Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.
 
 The game is starting everyone is here,
 I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer
 Just two normal guyz hanging out having fun
 Kiv: Right guy number 2?
 Jorma: Yeah guy number 1.
 E to the S to the P to the N
 Is all I watch cause I'm the man
 If my team loses I'll be mean all night
 If you tell me to relax we'll get in a fight
 Watching sportz with girls is a pain
 They don't know the rules; there's no time to explain
 Single, double, triple, home-run
 For the celebration I'll shoot my gun
 I like my friend, he's a real guys guy
 He's not a loud-mouth like that cunt-hole Steve
 We like sportz and we don't care who knows
 From Wimbledon to the Astrodome
 
 We like sportz and we don't care who knows
 Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.
 
 Now when I say "sportz", you say "nutz"
 "Sportz!"
 "Nutz!"
 "Sportz!"
 "Nutz!"
 When I say "cheating", you say "sux"
 "Cheating!"
 "Sux!"
 "Cheating!"
 "Sux!"
 
 I drink whiskey cause I like the taste
 You think its bitter but I think its great
 I also drink whiskey and we smoke cigars
 Don't believe me? Smell our cars
 We're real men, and we like sportz
 If you say we're not then we'll see you in court
 Jorma: I'm team captain and I choose you
 Kiv: I'm the other team captain and I choose you too
 We steal the ball and we're off to the races
 Then scare the other team with our mad dog faces like,
 What what what what what what.
 What what what what what what.
 
 We like sportz and we don't care who knows
 From the pregame toast to the wrap-up show
 We like sportz and we don't care who knows
 Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.
 
 Kiv: Throw me the baseball.
 Jorma: Now toss me the pig skin.
 Kiv: Now feed me the rock.
 Jorma: Now give me the rock. 
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