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 All I do is Grunt and Groan
 Hurts me to walk anywhere
 
 Went to see my physician
 Dr. Jones
 He took my trousers off
 Told me to cough
 
 The doctor said there ain't nothing
 To discuss
 He said anyday now
 I might have to wear a truss
 
 Living with a hernia
 All the time such aggravation
 Living with a hernia
 Hurts me bad in a tender location
 Living with a hernia
 Have to have an operation
 
 Feels so old
 Now I live with a hernia
 
 Too much back pain
 Good God!
 Drives me insane
 
 Can't bend over
 Barely crawl
 Got a bulge in my
 Intestinal wall
 
 Walk real funny
 Bless my soul
 Can't play tennis
 And it's hard to bowl
 You can't even do the splits now (say it)
 Better call it quits now
 Well I'm sick of all this dancing
 Anyhow
 
 Living with a hernia
 All the time, such irritation
 Now I live with a hernia
 Hurts me bad in a tender location
 Living with a hernia
 Have to have an operation
 
 Well you may not be familiar with the common types
 Of hernias that you can get
 So settle down let me clue you in
 There's incomplete
 Epigastric
 Bladder
 Strangulated
 Lumbar's hernia
 Erector's hernia
 Obstructed
 Obligual
 And Direct!
 
 Living with a hernia
 All the time such irritation
 Living with a hernia
 Hurts me bad in a tender location
 Living with a hernia
 
 I feel bad! 
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