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 Well I heard that you're leaving
 Gonna leave far behind
 'Cause you found a brand new lover
 You decided that I'm not your type
 
 So I pulled
 Your name out of my Rolladex
 And I tore all your pictures in two
 And I burned down the malt shop
 Where we used to go
 Just because it reminds me of you.....
 
 That's right
 You ain't gonna see me crying
 I'm glad that you found somebody new
 'Cause I'd rather spend eternity
 Eating shards of broken glass
 Than spend one more minute with you.
 
 I know I may seem kinda bitter
 You got me feeling down in the dumps
 'Cause I'm stranded all alone
 In the gas station of love
 And I have to use the self-service pump...
 
 Oh so honey,
 Let me help you with that suitcase
 You ain't gonna break my heart in two
 'Cause I'd rather have a hundred-thousand
 Paper cuts on my face,
 Than spend one more minute with you..
 
 I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
 Than watch you going out with other men
 I'd rather slam my fingers in a door,
 Again, and again, and again, and again, and again
 
 Oh can't you what I'm trying to say, darlin'
 
 I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leaches
 Or shove an ice-pick under a toe nail or two
 I'd rather clean all the bathrooms
 In Grand Central Station, with my tongue..
 Than spend one more minute with you
 
 I'd rather jump naked on huge pile of thumbtacks
 Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy-Glue
 I'd dive in a swimming pool filled with
 Double-edged razor blades
 Than spend one more minute with you
 
 I'd rather rip my heart
 Right out of my ribcage
 With my bare hands
 And throw it on the floor and
 Stomp on it till
 I die....
 
 Than spend one more minute with you.....
 
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